Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! But while he's dreaming, why can't he answer a few of your questions? Life, love, and social etiquette--where better to get your advice than from a repository of all dark and terrible knowledge than man was not meant to know, and that we instinctively shrink from once we understand our true insignificance in the face of its cosmic horror?
“This was awesome, worth every penny!”