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Have you ever visited meh.com or read something from MeetEdgar and thought, wow, I wish I could get one of those guys to write something for me?
I'm the next best thing. Or... at least the cheapest best thing. Trying to sell a toaster? I can hint - but never promise - that it might be a Decepticon. Selling a car? I'll intimate an increase in intimate encounters. I'm also more than happy to add in a little linguistic limerick, alliteratively.
What I'm saying is - give me money, I'll write you some words.