I am a (male) professional radio and television announcer with more than 10 years of experience.
You want to make someone jealous? You just want to sound good?
Whatever the reason, I will call you and leave you a message saying whatever you'd like me to say. You want me to sound sexy? Done. Normal? Done. I can even do a variety of accents.
I'll record the outgoing voice mail message for your answering machine/service.