I will say mean things about your resume for $5

say mean things about your resume
say mean things about your resume

About This Gig

You know what a resume should look like, right? You're wrong. I've read mountains of resumes – and discarded most of them. As an HR director who's hired people for more than a decade, I can tell you what will land your resume in the garbage.


Do you have an Objective section? I don't read it.


Do you list extracurricular activities? I don't find it amusing. 


Do you list volunteering for the local young republicans or democrats? I don't share your opinions.


If you list the time you spent as a Manager in high school I’ll laugh at you.


Send me your resume and I will be brutally honest with you. I’ll let you know what’s worth keeping and what makes you look like a joke. If you want it to look professional, I can help you format it in a way that doesn't look like you type on your circa 1993 word processor. And if you want to be creative I'll let you know when you've crossed into too-cool-for-school territory. And bonus: I shouldn't have to tell you this but I'll warn you if your email address alone is enough to make me hit “delete.”


When I'm done you'll know how to get your resume ready for me – the guy who can decide to hire you. And I won’t be too mean. Maybe.