*This is not a sex-chat gig, you'll have to go elsewhere for that.
^I am not a certified counselor, but I do have experience in the psychology field. I have heard the darkest of experiences and most absurd of debacles. I am the go to person when friends or even strangers at the bar are having problems.
I just want to nip this in the bud. I am not comfortable with these requests, nothing personal toward you. You will have to go elsewhere to find someone to do this, but if you are looking for someone to vent to or give you advice, I'd be glad to help you out!