I frequently send her texts of (cancer) symptoms and photos of weird skin (cancer) pigmentation. It really helps me down off the wall (of cancer) I've built up around myself.
She's agreed to offer her calming services to the Internet. Send a description of what's going on or a picture of your ailment (any and all dick-pics get an immediate diagnosis of low self-esteem; prescription: buy a Ferrari) and she'll try to reassure you that it's not the worst-case WebMD scenario.
Disclaimer: She is not a doctor and is not making a final diagnosis. You should still seek medical attention if it's something serious. Your health is worth more than $5.