I will write you four Valentines Day poems with a message for $5

write you four Valentines Day poems with a message
write you four Valentines Day poems with a message
write you four Valentines Day poems with a message
write you four Valentines Day poems with a message

About This Gig

It's the most sexy time of the year!!! 

Boys and girls everywhere are excited about all the romantic things they are going to do with the one they love. Awwww!!!

But romance is dead! :(

You can't get your gluten intolerant sweetheart chocolate for Valentine's Day without being labeled insensitive and uncreative.

"How about some flowers?" Really??? 30% of the United States' population alone are allergic to pollen. 

Show your baby pooh bear true love with a little assistance by a poet extraordinaire! 

For just $5, I'll write you FOUR Valentine's Day poems.

Tell me your poopy bear's favorite things, and I'll integrate them into the poem.

You want to break up? I'll give you FOUR poems to break the news.

Could go either way? I'll write you TWO love declaring poems and TWO break-up poems! 


Samples here:

Gay and need to break it to your girl? 

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You have a boyfriend,
And he has one too.

Breaking up because your relationship has lost its passion?

Some things are red,
Some things are blue,
Nothing is sweet,
To apathetic old you.

Need to remind your loved one that you're domestically violent?

Roses are red,
Black eyes turn blue,
When the color is gone
The cops won’t believe you.