I will supply 900 funny clever tweets for you to post

supply 900 funny clever tweets for you to post

About This Gig

900+ Twitter friendly (140 character) one-liners.

I've been through the desert on a horse with no mane. He suffers from alopecia.

I've just tried to woo a girl at the bus stop, but she wasn't interested. Obviously not a fan of Ric Flair.

Anyone here with one leg? I have a ton of socks you can have.

I've got 66 problems and being upside down is one.

Modern philosophy: If I went to the gym but then didn't write a Facebook status about it, did it ever really happen?

I've learnt something: When arguing with a woman, if I am armed with only facts and logic, I'm completely screwed.

76.5% of people make up statistics to try and prove a point.

The wife said she would like something nice and shiny for her birthday... so I bought her some kitchen foil.

Same shit, different day. Probably should change my undies.

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days,Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days, Thursday, Friday, Happy Days, Saturday my wife gets back from her course.

Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever. Retweet/Like if you agree.

I went to the doctors last week for a prostate exam. It suddenly got awkward when he asked, ''Do you like that?