I will write funny, bad puns for any occasion

Need an icebreaker for a meeting or speech? Want to embarrass your best friend at his/her bachelor/bachelorette party? Just feel the need to make the entire office or your social media followers groan from horrible puns? Look no further!

I may not be a professional comedienne but one thing I know very well are bad puns. Give me a situation, place, physical trait, animal, whatever for which you want/need to use a bad pun and I will provide you with a list of five one-line bad puns for $5, ten for $10, or twenty for $15.

Here's an example:

Scenario: You took a trip to Australia where you tried some Kangaroo salami. You want to write an article on the experience for your travel or exotic food blog and want to throw some bad jokes in to amuse your audience.

Example Puns:

It was hopping good!

I jumped at the chance to try this local delicacy.

This meat really had some kick to it.

I've never had my food fight back quite like this.

I roo the day I ever decided to try it.

I kanga believe how good it is.

It really put a spring in my step.

One bite and I was hopping with joy.

You'll kick yourself if you don't give it a chance.

Hop on a plane and go try it!