I will write, record, and produce a song about anything

Have you ever wanted someone to make a song about something, no matter how stupid or trivial? As an example, a pop song about wishing you had a sandwich? Or maybe a country ballad about being in love with your own refrigerator? The possibilities are endless, limited only by your imagination. You aren't paying for some poorly recorded one take voice memo with some bad jokes and crude lyrics (unless you want bad jokes and crude lyrics). You will get a professional quality, fully mixed and recorded song, guaranteed to satisfy. The main purpose of this gig is to provide satirical entertainment to buyers. If your rap loving friend's birthday is coming up, you could hire me to produce a trap banger about sleeping in and being lazy (their favorite activity). Or maybe a laid back pop song about when you and your significant other first met (the song doesn't have to be funny, it can also be genuine and sweet). Maybe you've just always wished someone had made a really really well produced song about how much mosquitoes suck. 

Whatever it is you're looking to hear on a track, I'm ready to make it happen.