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Mika
@mikalistens
Professional Heartbreak Consultant, unfortunately VERY experienced
Germany
English, German, Romanian, Russian
About me
My résumé says I've worked in startups. My life résumé says I've accidentally earned a PhD in heartbreak.
Over the years I've been the friend people call after breakups, confusing dates, "what does this text mean?", and dating crises. Between giving advice to friends & surviving my own emotional rollercoasters, I realized I'm actually pretty good at helping people see situations more clearly, or get over them.
I won't tell you to "move on." I'll listen, ask good questions, call out the obvious when you're too emotionally invested to see it, and help you feel lighter (ideally a little wiser)
Skills
Mika
Offline •
See my services
Relationship Advice
I will consult professionally on heartbreak and relationships
Work experience
Founder (In Progress) – BreakupClub App
Freelancing Career
May 2026 - Present • 3 mos
- Building a mobile app that helps people navigate heartbreak with practical tools, journaling, emotional support, and a little humor. - Inspired by real experiences and conversations with hundreds of people going through breakups.
Author of "Slut Theory"
Freelancer.com
Aug 2025 - Present • 1 yr
- Wrote a memoir exploring relationships, sexuality, heartbreak, healing, and finding yourself after everything falls apart. - Proof that sometimes your worst decisions eventually become content.
Professional Overthinker
Freelancing Career • Freelance
Sep 2016 - Present • 9 yrs 11 mos
- Analyzed thousands of relationship texts that definitely did not deserve that much attention. - Successfully helped friends avoid sending messages they'd regret. - Extensive field research in dating, breakups, attachment styles, and terrible communication.
