m
mikalistens

Mika

@mikalistens

Professional Heartbreak Consultant, unfortunately VERY experienced

Germany
English, German, Romanian, Russian
About me
My résumé says I've worked in startups. My life résumé says I've accidentally earned a PhD in heartbreak. Over the years I've been the friend people call after breakups, confusing dates, "what does this text mean?", and dating crises. Between giving advice to friends & surviving my own emotional rollercoasters, I realized I'm actually pretty good at helping people see situations more clearly, or get over them. I won't tell you to "move on." I'll listen, ask good questions, call out the obvious when you're too emotionally invested to see it, and help you feel lighter (ideally a little wiser)... Read more

Skills

m
mikalistens
Mika
Offline • 

See my services

Relationship Advice
I will consult professionally on heartbreak and relationships

Work experience

Freelancing_Career

Founder (In Progress) – BreakupClub App

Freelancing Career

May 2026 - Present3 mos

- Building a mobile app that helps people navigate heartbreak with practical tools, journaling, emotional support, and a little humor. - Inspired by real experiences and conversations with hundreds of people going through breakups.

Freelancer.com

Author of "Slut Theory"

Freelancer.com

Aug 2025 - Present1 yr

- Wrote a memoir exploring relationships, sexuality, heartbreak, healing, and finding yourself after everything falls apart. - Proof that sometimes your worst decisions eventually become content.

Freelancing_Career

Professional Overthinker

Freelancing Career • Freelance

Sep 2016 - Present9 yrs 11 mos

- Analyzed thousands of relationship texts that definitely did not deserve that much attention. - Successfully helped friends avoid sending messages they'd regret. - Extensive field research in dating, breakups, attachment styles, and terrible communication.