I will write you 10 humorous Tweets for $5

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write you 10 humorous Tweets
write you 10 humorous Tweets

About This Gig

I will write you 10 Humorous Tweets to promote your website, YouTube video, or just for fun.  I have written over 600 Twitter jokes or amusing observations from such topics as:

Parenting

  • Daughter picked up a dandelion, made a wish, and blew it.  If she wished for more dandelions in the yard next year, it will probably come true.
  • Not sure what the opposite of a humblebrag is, but my daughter showing off her new, very own lice comb has got to be it.

Exercise

  • I don't care who you are, its impossible to look cool until you've pedaled your bike at least three times.
  • Well I bought a bike yesterday & now this morning a black cat came up to me in my driveway. Feel like I should just check into the ER now.

Sports

  • Anyone who doesn't include a prayer for their NFL picks in the Thanksgiving Grace is just being fake. 
  • I nominate the coin flip at the start of a soccer match as the least important coin flip in all of sports...& possibly the world.

General

  • In the same day I've spent $ on energy drinks to keep me awake, and sleeping pills to put me to bed.  Maybe I just live in the wrong time zone.